Today is an important day for me. It has been a year since I decided to leave my marriage of ten years. I decided to leave twice earlier, but I was reminded again and again that I was a woman, I needed him to protect me and to provide for my children. This last year, I learnt that I am so much stronger than I ever thought. I unleashed my power as a mother, as a woman and more importantly I reminded myself, I am a human being.
But our society is still not ready to accept that. When I decided to leave, my community shunned me as woman who has a notorious character, or perhaps they wondered if I had made all this up. Men barred their wives from seeing me and my children.
Our society is strange in so many ways. We say we encourage women's empowerment but at the same time we have so many barriers in place for women to take that first step. My decision to leave my husband came after a lot of hurt and at the brink of mental breakdown.
Do I regret my decision? Not a single second. Women are so powerful in their own beings that men tend to fear them. They are scared that once a woman gets to know her power, their game is done. That is why oppression still exists in our so-called gender equal society.
This past year has been a year of healing, resistance and perseverance. We as human beings lack faith. We are so scared and dependent that we forget that it is just a matter of taking that first step. The first step wasn’t easy and nor were the following steps. It was hard, so hard at times that I almost gave up.
Our systems don’t make it easy for women to stand by their decisions of leaving a violent relationship. But I am so grateful for friends who helped me navigate the most difficult time of my life. They reminded me who I am and can be. They were there for me. I am also grateful to the two police officers who responded to my call for help.
Life outside that horror box has been so amazing. The sense of freedom is almost unbelievable at times. I am able to breathe free and love unconditionally. During this time of my life, I started writing to heal and recover. This is my coping mechanism to overcome my grief. This is my way of telling the world that we must stop this abuse against women. Women are equal to men. Period.
I survived the first year — with a lot of scars, but I did make it. You are too good to be with someone who does not have the eyes to see you. I got a full time permanent job; my kids are healthy and so happy. We are rocking it as a trio! But remember, you are your own warrior. You have that power in you. And you can do it. Just believe in yourself.
I am more than a man
Not your realm, not yours to keep
In me, I believe
You and me, were born equal
You and I will die equal
That’s not a mystery
You can keep your disbelief
When you will see me
At the place from where you once bragged
This isn’t a place for you, you crazy woman
This space belongs to a man
I will smile and say, I climbed myself back
You threw me once, you threw me twice
But I learnt my lesson well in spite
And mastered to climb back
Now we can carry on with this game
But remember my dear
On my shoulders you stepped, to climb there
I am more than a man, only if you could understand.